Owning the Past

In the course of your treatment you are asked to tell your story many, many times. Your story chronicles your life parallel to your addiction. And if you think that politicians have a serious problem with reinventing their past, you have never met an addict. Some of this deception is very direct and simple. You might leave out a rehab romance or jail time. You can also be very vague with the details of relationships and family. It can also be manipulative, like laughing off pawning grandma’s jewelry, and although what you’re saying is true, it’s still a lie. There is really no point of telling the truth if you’re not going to own it. Most of the time your deceiving yourself. You lie to yourself, tinting the memory of your terrible misdeeds and misspent years. You lie and cheat yourself out of a beautiful truth. You were really messed-up, but you can change.

Not everyone is ready to divulge everything on their first day of rehab, many still aren’t ready in a half-way house. But it is my hope that one day they can tell their truth. But until they tell the truth, until they own their past, they will never be free.

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